Tag Archives: writing

Death to the Flesh

I died today
For much too long, I tried so hard to stay
Flirting with limbo
Until I could bend no more
I could not stretch my hands further

Running at super sonic speed one day I crashed into my father

I found him when I went wandering
Through the meadows of nature
And it hit me that this was painted by his brush and
All the bumping and jiving
The sneaking, the lying
The sex and reckless driving
The tree and long islands
Could not compare to the feeling of freedom I got that day when I lift my eyes up

Fresh water streaked down my cheeks
And collected into a puddle reflecting my whole life
Mirroring the emptiness
The bitter loneliness that all along I’d tried to hide back when
I was driven by my passion and desire
To feel loved
Feel happy
Feel wanted
Feel something

But the good news is that I let it all go
And I died today
And the world could go up in flames
And I wouldn’t batt a lash
Because of the many they put on His back
I’m free and forever an heir
And there’s no chance of me turning to salt
Cause there’s no looking back from here

Free Falling

I find myself wandering about

fading in and out of daydreams

snippets of things imagined, things unseen

things that haven’t happened yet, things between you and me

 

And I wonder for a split second could this be?

Could we both be falling

for the wrong thing…

 

Yet some time ago I couldn’t feel a thing

numb to the idea of my heart pulsating for anyone

then you stormed into my life

Water-falling me into complete submission

Cascading your presence into my daily consumption

 

You remind me that the moon knows when to shine and the sun surely rises

I wake to your face and its smiling

Is this a dream?

Cause sometimes it feels like I’m flying.

 

Even if only for a second

I have to finally accept that

You are permanently ingrained in my grey matter

my eyes flicker at the hope, at the sheer potential of

A reflection of myself fading deep within your iris.

 

 

 

 

Heaven as a Hotline

So I just had a moment.

Someone sent me some really kind words about my writing and then I was thinking “woah, I have a blog called ‘Heaven’s Hotlines’…do you know what that means?”

It finally hit me why I named it that and the concept behind such a name. A hotline is a place where you go to receive short-term crisis intervention. Be it needing help through an anxiety attack or just needing to know theres someone there to talk to you. Thats what hotlines are there for. To serve as that one connection in the world who a person reaches and supports them through a tough time.

Now to think of heaven as a hotline amazes me spiritually. It is the one connection I can call to be closer to God and get advice and support about my troubles, worries or fears. Additionally to that its the where I can connect to just to talk about positive things or gratitude as well. It’s a long term service that is always available.

So how does this relate to my naming my blog this when clearly I am not heaven? Well my intentions with this blog was to serve as a virtual representation of the thoughts I have and to serve as a transcript for some of my personal calls to heavens hotlines. Like sometimes I might post like my last few inspirational/creative pieces that may not seem like a call to heavens hotline but they are. In my own way I like to write and express whats on my heart whether it be about giving and getting love in this world or unmerited favor and looking for God in the wrong spaces, I feel its all connected. We all have different and unique ways that we connect to God.

Prayer is my hotline to heaven or to God. At any moment I can dial-up a prayer in the middle of a street or in class and just open up parts of me I can’t open up to anybody else. Mostly because He loves me unconditionally. He knows me inside and out and because I trust Him with my life. It’s comforting to know that as a christian I have this open prayer line where I can communicate with God at all times and prayer definitely changes things and is very powerful. So I mean I just want to encourage myself and others like me to pray more, keep that hotline open and fluid. It will provide an ease and peace of mind and the security you need to feel in your life.

The Conquering Lion

I fell on bended knees
weeping with hurt and sadness all around me
all the bad, darkness and the heartbreaks of yesterday’s consuming my mental
Father, I can’t even look you in your eyes
my shame and guilt have led me blind
But with my head hanging down I cling to your feet
Because you’re the only good thing that I know
The only one to whom I can go
But why do I allow these people to hurt me so?
Queen, get up.
My daughter go spend time with me
laugh and sing and talk freely
For it’s only I who can interpret that song your heart sings
Only I can heal that pain he brings
So rise.
And look at me with those beautiful brown eyes
And that brilliant sparkling smile
And go on with your life
You are so much more than this
I planned more for you than to just exist
Trust in me and you’ll be free
And I promise that in my love,
you will truly find peace
So stand strong
For I am the foundation you are built on.
Every time you stumble, or choke on the sin-filled air of this world; I will breathe you back to life.
Daughter, you have to know that,
Your beautiful soul is worth dying
So be still and stop all your crying.
For indeed you know who I am.
The Conquering Lion.

Her Psalm

So resilient she was born
with a fragile stamp mistakenly
placed on her forehead
And she has scars
Some deep
Some dark
Some long
But even the invisible wounds can’t tear her apart
From the start,
she fought with a strength
with a passion for life and with unwavering faith
She, in all her glory and clothed in all His grace
remained
Short but tall
Frail yet strong
She will never fall
Come storms, come hail, come all enemies far and long
She won’t be broken
Because He lies within her
The hope and love needed to sustain
this woman
He provides it all so surely
she will be great
And she will recover all upon the break of dawn.

(Inspired by Psalm 46:5)

Queens and Kings

I’m really learning who I am in Christ.
I am Queen.
I am King.
Everywhere I go I will act as such.
From the clothes that I wear
To the food that I eat
I demand to be treated as no less than such because that’s really who I am.

I am humbled before God and committed to being a public servant and to help with the betterment of human kind. And though the only wealth I have is immaterial, I was born to be great and deserve the absolute best. I am so rich in character and so rich in quality.

I just needed to encourage myself, to make declarations because I have the power to do so by the grace of God, and I realized like I really deserve the best in this world. I am Queen.

And yeah, you should always be humble but you should walk with a confidence and an understanding of who you are and what you’ve inherited through the blood of Jesus Christ. Like I’m just so thankful for all the good things in my life like I would always feel down or insecure about how “little” I had but perspective is really reality. I am so blessed. So I will act accordingly. And once you know who you are you will feel the same comfort I feel and you won’t allow people to manipulate you or influence you to change. No, you’ll just be you and if they don’t like that then boo-who? boo them. Forreal like it’s not worth it to have negative people even close to your circle. As you start to figure out who you are your circles will too change accordingly. Until your surrounded by other Queens and other Kings.