Tag Archives: Random

Free Falling

I find myself wandering about

fading in and out of daydreams

snippets of things imagined, things unseen

things that haven’t happened yet, things between you and me

 

And I wonder for a split second could this be?

Could we both be falling

for the wrong thing…

 

Yet some time ago I couldn’t feel a thing

numb to the idea of my heart pulsating for anyone

then you stormed into my life

Water-falling me into complete submission

Cascading your presence into my daily consumption

 

You remind me that the moon knows when to shine and the sun surely rises

I wake to your face and its smiling

Is this a dream?

Cause sometimes it feels like I’m flying.

 

Even if only for a second

I have to finally accept that

You are permanently ingrained in my grey matter

my eyes flicker at the hope, at the sheer potential of

A reflection of myself fading deep within your iris.

 

 

 

 

The Hopeless Romantic

This person is in love with love.They believe in fairy tales and love.They’re not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that’s not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists,the sentimental dreamers,the imaginative and the fanciful when you get to know them.They often live with rose colored glasses on.They make lovelook like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone. 

I always thought I was a hopeless romantic. Hopeless in the sense that the love I imagined I should have will never exist. But I was wrong. I’m a hopeful romantic. I’m in love with love and like Kendrick said “I love so much, I love when love hurts.” This is because I have so much love inside of me. I used to say I was just a “sucker for love” but no. love is a sucker for me. I’m by nature just a very loving person and my heart is very big I just want to spread love all around. Romantic or otherwise. So I have to be hopeful that there’s someone out there who can receive that. I am pretty much this definition but I think it hints at this idea of lack of reality. People think you’re a hopeless romantic because you are not realistic about the kind of love you deserve or can obtain hence the “rose-colored glasses.” But let’s be real. I know everything isn’t rosy. But you can have whatever you want in this world if you can think it. If you have faith and believe it. So I believe I can have it. I’m very realistic about what the reality of my love life is.

SO yeah lol this was a pretty random post but I just felt like saying I think people should stop being negative and calling themselves hopeless romantics simply because they have bigger ideas for the kind of love they want. Why would you settle for a complacent dull commitment when you could have passionate and complex depth with another person? It’s that depth and that passion that I long for and the truth is it’s hard to find but like Adele said “He’d be hard to chase but good to catch” so I keep hope alive. 

Hurricane Season

I sit here half-way curled in the warmth of my comforter, eating almonds, drinking cranberry juice, reflecting on my past week. Wow, this was one hell of a week!

The end of Kanye West’s “Who will Survive in America?”- has been ringing in my mental like nonstop. It can get hard out here.

And honestly,

That rain got a lot worse in my life after I wrote that last post, and I went through a full hurricane and I guess the best place to describe where I am right now is in the eye of the storm. Today was the 3rd time this week I’d read or heard someone reference how in the world we will have tribulations but in God we will have peace. Since I am in both currently, it’s like I have front row seats to watch as this storm attempts to plow through my life right now. I just smiled writing that. Because I feel joy. I feel peace. I really do. And even this girl recognized that in me this past week, she commended me for persevering through at least the school related struggles I was going through this past week. That acknowledgement felt good. Because

There’s always been a lot of noise in my life. But I never knew how to regulate the volume. And so the drama and chaos would be blasting in my life and instead of trying to turn it down I was used to trying to cover my ears and just live through it. But today I’m thankful for growth and i’m thankful for the maturation that has allowed me to be the strongest version of Sua I’ve ever been in life. I just hesitated to type that for fear of being too dramatic (which apparently I am often) but no seriously! I’m not broken. considering all that is happening around me I have not been shaken. The reason is obvious. It’s the God in all of us and his grace that gets us through each day so I feel a lot better this Sunday. I feel a lot more sure, I feel a lot more safe. ┬áHa, Kings of Leon’s “Use Somebody” just came on shuffle. I love this song! It will never get old. We all need somebody. And I’m learning what my father meant when he told my younger self that “You don’t need friends.”

All I’ve really ever had was friends so I couldn’t understand what he meant. He wasn’t saying you don’t need people or that you will make it through life humanly on your own but he was trying to teach me to not depend on friends or “men” like we’re taught from the bible. People will disappoint. So much of our world and relationships are temporary so I’m now realizing how much more important that relationship with him is. It’s amazing. There’s a Jay-z line that goes “Life is a trip so sometimes you gon stumble… you gotta go trough pain in order to become you” and I love that line because its so true. It does suck having to go through pain and darkness to learn certain lessons, but one day it’l all make sense. it all shapes you and one day you’ll be grateful at how things played out exactly according to plan, good and bad included.

looking forward to next week and the holiday! Brighter days are on the horizon.

Hallelujah holla-back!