A, bb appreciation prose 🌹
I fell on bended knees
weeping with hurt and sadness all around me
all the bad, darkness and the heartbreaks of yesterday’s consuming my mental
Father, I can’t even look you in your eyes
my shame and guilt have led me blind
But with my head hanging down I cling to your feet
Because you’re the only good thing that I know
The only one to whom I can go
But why do I allow these people to hurt me so?
Queen, get up.
My daughter go spend time with me
laugh and sing and talk freely
For it’s only I who can interpret that song your heart sings
Only I can heal that pain he brings
And look at me with those beautiful brown eyes
And that brilliant sparkling smile
And go on with your life
You are so much more than this
I planned more for you than to just exist
Trust in me and you’ll be free
And I promise that in my love,
you will truly find peace
So stand strong
For I am the foundation you are built on.
Every time you stumble, or choke on the sin-filled air of this world; I will breathe you back to life.
Daughter, you have to know that,
Your beautiful soul is worth dying
So be still and stop all your crying.
For indeed you know who I am.
The Conquering Lion.
A lot of badness happened this year on the news. From police brutality to high profil sexual assault cases. If someone were to turn on the news, who was not familiar with America at all, they’d think this country is seriously heading for huge disaster. And though it does really appear that way, I’ve been imagining a world where we had at least one news channel that highlighted “Good news!” You know? Like it could begin with an enthusiastic breakdown of the weather and even as it got coler, it would still be a happy forecast because the sun never leaves us ever. Yet we give it hardly any attention except in the summer. Then reporters could report about graduations and new medical advances like the male birth control. It could show some of the beautiful relationships we’ve built with other countries or even highlight community heroes. And this is non-stop. They really limit us. And you know what you think, so shall you be. So if all were hearing about is rape, racism, killing for example- that’s all that is going to continue to happen disproportionately in this country ya know? Every news station reports the same news. It’s time for a change. Give us options. And if you wont, I will. This has become a new dream of mine. I don’t particularly care about news or politics much but I do care strongly care about mental health, and I feel this could dramatically increase the happiness of people in this country. We are constantly surrounding by negativity. And though I keep up to date with current events, I rarely watch the news. I’m not saying these issues should not be highlight, they have to be. I’m just saying lets add some versatility. So this is one of my future goals/dreams for my future.
Speaking of future. I have recently grasped the concept of the power of what we say and what we think. I think I had always been reluctant to dream big or plan in advance more than a week. In fact I embraced my impulsivity and spontaneity. I flaunted the fact that I wake up and do no thing the same way I did the day before besides hygiene related things. I’m young. And I’m learning. So now I feel like, thanks to my newly strengthened faith in God as well as my current partner, that I want to dream big! And wild! And huge! I want to really visualize who and where I will be in my future. I still feel there is no more important time than now, but now that I’m better understanding the grace of God I think its more than okay and actually wise to plan for tomorrow, and the next day, and the next year. I’m really amazed by my growth. 2013 was the darkest year I’d ever had in my life. And 2014 was the lightest I’ve ever experienced in my life. So I know 2015 can only be even more amazing!
As simple as that.
How much did you love and feel this
I woke up this morning not feeling well at all. I was attacked by all kinds of cold/flu symptoms! However, as I was being taken good care of by my love all I could think about was how blessed of a year this was. Love is what drove me and kept me happy. Mostly the Love of God and the Love of myself. It was an amazing year! I feel like I’m turning 1 year old because this was the first year that I went into where I declared that I was going to make my happiness a priority. And though I went through a lot this year, my spirits were high and remain strong. Stronger than ever. Every photo captured of me smiling this year was truly genuine. I was truly happy. So the following short posts will be brief reflections on my year. On my growth.