True Life: it’s complicated

If you are spending so much time thinking about how someone is doing something to you and how you feel and what you want and how you deserve Ah ah ah…you are at the center of your life. And when you are at the center of your life, your ego swells and you become unable to think rationally and see the reality in that most things in this world are simply out of your control. And that there are bigger things than just you. it is so easy to point fingers and criticize. It is more challenging to practice acceptance, accountability and understanding. Empathy. These are all things you have to practice. This is why i keep God at my center. Not in a hyper-religious sense but in a way that promotes grace and kindness. I’m just here to give and to serve. That’s at my center. Any time it’s about anything else I’m operating out of ego and usually that’s when things go left. Life is pretty simple when you see things this way but it is also complicated. Because we are all inherently flawed and human. And also there is just so much stuff. So many people and all of their feelings and views and opinions and trauma and baggage…it’s hard not to get entangled in other peoples stuff. So much that you might internalize these things as your own stuff! And yeah they may effect you emotionally as well. But i just keep tryna ground myself these days. I’m surrounded by people and submerged in environments that act as the mirrors and windows of my life. Mirroring my values and strengths and who I am and reflecting on areas for growth. But also windows, windows that educate me; redirecting my focus and attention to perspective and life beyond what I just think in my own mind. This is why I’m so relentless about protecting myself now. It’s no more exceptions. If it doesn’t have my name on it and apply to me directly I can’t get involved. That is self preservation. What ever applies to me applies to me and whatever doesn’t just doesn’t. I take my rain with my sunshine and my clouds and rainbows and lightning too. ☎️

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