Today is the last day of April.
Fair to say that the first quarter of this year has been interesting.
I wanna say its been turbulent but i like “windy” better
It’s been a lot going on
And it’s been beautiful and challenging all at once
But today is the last day of April
And the last day for a few other things for me
Life will always have complexities and challenges
So knowing this I’m deliberately choosing to surrender to the air
I’m not holding back and I’m not living so worried
I just wanna chill
I want to have a good time
There has been so much grieving lately
It’s seemingly unending
I’d like for things to settle
Today is the day that I decided that I’m the one calling the shots here
I’m choosing what to dwell on, how to spend my time and who to be surrounded by
In life there are real, substantial limits which is why i no longer strive for perfection

but this is the last day for wasted time and bruised egos, hurt feelings and overthinking
I’m gonna live like there are no limits
Especially with love
I want to spend all of my days outside
I wanna take a nap on the beach
I’d love a paint night with someone I love
A long walk
Red wine
Most importantly i’m protecting my peace
I cannot bring peace to anyone else’s life if I do not commit to bringing that to my own
So i’m also going to continue to respectfully decline anything that doesn’t align with me spiritually at this moment
praying more
breathing more
practicing

Sometimes feelings are important and sometimes actions matter more
I’m choosing to focus on action rn
I’m not moving solely because of how i am feeling
Although, I will always follow my heart
I am so much more than my moods and my emotions
So much more than just my personality
So much more than my past and even my future potential
I wanna use my time doing things and only things that I love that bring me joy
I’m taking action to sustain the lifestyle I want
And i’m doing it now


With that being said, I’m protecting my peace throughout the month of May by unplugging from all forms of social media. And instead channeling all my creative energy into documenting a sort of True Life writing series where I will write here daily capturing my story, my moods, my life as someone who lives with mental illness in light of Mental Health Awareness month this May. Heavens Hotlines is pretty much my digital journal…I write every single day, but I look forward to stretching my skills further through this practice and pushing myself to be vulnerable in this wild wild space known as the internet. idk…it feels right. Gonna just freestyle it. All are welcome to join me as a fly on the wall.