This Pressure, These Troubles

Beside myself
hunger and thirst just won’t relent
tussling and tossing through the night
chained in the brain
doesn’t ever feel the same
the mind, over time, wears you out
exhausted by this pressure
the anxiety
the panic
the inevitable

These troubles, I’m weary
My worries
pouring my heart through these eyes
bad news blues
interjecting my mental
again and again
You tell me this too will pass
But how long will it last?
How much of me will be lost?
You carry this weight
still it pains me
this rain it stains me
confusion and abusive tendencies
conflicted interests
praying you’ll change things

This flesh, so weak
grieved and bound by shackles you can’t see
But you carry all burdens
I stand by way of your shoulders
you care for me
victory even if for a moment
Your will entices me
keeps my focus sharp

What am I doing here?
The spirit is willing
But this harassment is unending
I made these choices
brick by brick they have cemented me
my heart, gray and engulfed by sin
still beats
you’re greater than these worries
these troubles
my problems
From within
You heal
You’re in control

In a daze
I want to see
I want to know
To feel,
The inverted truth of my reality
Something has to give
No matter how many wrongs I’ve chosen you’ve still chosen me.

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