Note to Self: “Be”

Trees breathing.

There’s a hurricane on the lose.

thoughts.

wrecking my brain, and aching and reminding me that I am not the same

changed and ever-changing

Growing, I’m still growing

but am I glowing?

 

_______________________________________

Enthralled by feelings of self-doubt, worry and “not good enough’s”

We live in a plastic world, where you are expected to be on point.

From the moment you wake up until dusk- you must

do better. try harder. study more. work longer

Breathe.

Why don’t we remember to breathe? or eat? or sleep? or Be?

Just be.

Too often we forget to breathe.

I sat outside last night for the first time in weeks

to just breathe.

I watched the moon, and oh how I’ve missed the moon

listened to crickets chirping and admired the wind

Do you ever miss the parts of you that make you ‘You’ deep within?

I do.

___________________________________________

Tired of existing in this space where the objective is perfectionism.

 

What are we doing here?

What is the purpose?

thoughts.

I’m reminded of my humanity

of my strengths, of my weakness

And I want to curl up and hide some days

because if people knew, that I was fragile too…

we’re all going through something

weaving through the ins and outs of each day

and the pastor just keeps saying “Pray”

But I can’t ever seem to find the words to say

misunderstood.

__________________________________________

I wish I felt every day how I feel at dusk

that brief moment between the sun resting right before the night falls.

when the day is done- and you have won

I want to notice the world happening all around me

to smile, genuinely

to compliment somebody

to try, to take risks, to make mistakes and even to fail

but for that to be okay.

I want to release my emotions

to laugh and to love and to be happy

but somedays I find myself frowning behind smiling teeth

seemingly drowning

suppressing-suppressing, this heart

this heart that keeps me grounded

I find myself sometimes uncertain, living minute by minute anxious of the thought of “what’s next?”

these thoughts.

 

_______________________________________________

I ask myself, “when do you ever rest?”

dreams haunt you about tomorrow or money or assignments

you look in the mirror and sometimes you see a mess

________________________________________________

switch it off.

the negative thoughts

the worry

the anxiety

the chaos

or your soul will pay the cost

________________________________________________

 

Be still

and know that things will be alright

be brave, don’t isolate

and just like the pastor says pray

pray in song, in dance, or maybe even draw

turn off your phone; unplug

God knows you, you gotta know that you are loved

______________________________________________

And most importantly, stay free

take the time to breathe at dawn

thankful for the blessing that is a new day

yeah, you might not get everything done

yeah, there may never be enough time at all

just keep your eyes focused on the love, the triumph and the victory you’ll feel at dusk.

Think the happy thoughts and just Be.

 

 

 

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