There’s a hurricane on the lose.
wrecking my brain, and aching and reminding me that I am not the same
changed and ever-changing
Growing, I’m still growing
but am I glowing?
Enthralled by feelings of self-doubt, worry and “not good enough’s”
We live in a plastic world, where you are expected to be on point.
From the moment you wake up until dusk- you must
do better. try harder. study more. work longer
Why don’t we remember to breathe? or eat? or sleep? or Be?
Too often we forget to breathe.
I sat outside last night for the first time in weeks
to just breathe.
I watched the moon, and oh how I’ve missed the moon
listened to crickets chirping and admired the wind
Do you ever miss the parts of you that make you ‘You’ deep within?
Tired of existing in this space where the objective is perfectionism.
What are we doing here?
What is the purpose?
I’m reminded of my humanity
of my strengths, of my weakness
And I want to curl up and hide some days
because if people knew, that I was fragile too…
we’re all going through something
weaving through the ins and outs of each day
and the pastor just keeps saying “Pray”
But I can’t ever seem to find the words to say
I wish I felt every day how I feel at dusk
that brief moment between the sun resting right before the night falls.
when the day is done- and you have won
I want to notice the world happening all around me
to smile, genuinely
to compliment somebody
to try, to take risks, to make mistakes and even to fail
but for that to be okay.
I want to release my emotions
to laugh and to love and to be happy
but somedays I find myself frowning behind smiling teeth
suppressing-suppressing, this heart
this heart that keeps me grounded
I find myself sometimes uncertain, living minute by minute anxious of the thought of “what’s next?”
I ask myself, “when do you ever rest?”
dreams haunt you about tomorrow or money or assignments
you look in the mirror and sometimes you see a mess
switch it off.
the negative thoughts
or your soul will pay the cost
and know that things will be alright
be brave, don’t isolate
and just like the pastor says pray
pray in song, in dance, or maybe even draw
turn off your phone; unplug
God knows you, you gotta know that you are loved
And most importantly, stay free
take the time to breathe at dawn
thankful for the blessing that is a new day
yeah, you might not get everything done
yeah, there may never be enough time at all
just keep your eyes focused on the love, the triumph and the victory you’ll feel at dusk.
Think the happy thoughts and just Be.